Women's listening area

Learning that someone close to you has suffered an act of sexual violence is difficult news to receive, especially if the victim is someone close to you. Many people don't dare reveal what they have suffered. They are often afraid that others will judge them or refuse to believe them. Listen to your own emotions while being available to help the victim and respect his or her needs.

The source of resources

Everyone has the right to help. Whatever your age, gender identity, sexual orientation, cultural background or occupation, Info-aide violence sexuelle is your resource. We welcome you in a safe, non-judgmental space.
We're here to listen, support and inform you according to your needs, whether you've experienced sexual violence or are helping someone in this situation.

WHAT YOU CAN DO: IS IT REALLY ABUSE?
It may sound strange, but it's sometimes difficult to determine whether or not you're a victim of violence. Many abusers say things like: "You're useless", or "You're the reason I did it", or "It's your fault", or "You deserve it". All these phrases are designed to destroy your self-confidence and instill in you the feeling that you are responsible for the violence. The experience of violence causes emotional damage to the victim, diminishing his or her ability to grasp what's really going on. To learn more about the warning signs of abuse, read "How to recognize the signs of an abusive relationship".

GO OR STAY?
There are many reasons why women stay in abusive relationships. You may be staying because you are financially dependent on the abuser and cannot afford to leave. Maybe you love the abuser and don't want to end the relationship; you just want the violence to stop. Perhaps you believe yourself responsible for the violence. Maybe you are physically dependent on the abuser, or the abuser threatened to kill you if you left. Every woman has her reasons, and each of them has the right to make her own decisions. But even if you feel hopeless, trapped or scared, there is help available.

TELL SOMEONE ABOUT IT.
Tell someone you trust that you are being abused. This could be a friend, family member, teacher, nurse or doctor, or a member of your spiritual or religious community. Before you talk to this person, determine what you expect from them. Do you want her to just listen? Would you like her to help you find a lawyer or a new apartment? Think about what you want, then make your request. If the person tries to push you to do something that makes you uncomfortable or fearful, tell them. Tell the person how you feel. Ask him to respect your wishes. Only you can decide if and when you should leave. If the person you talk to minimizes the violence, questions your statements, or refuses to help you, find someone else you can confide in.

LEARN ABOUT YOUR POSSIBILITIES.
Before taking action, call a hotline or a shelter for abused women to find out what options are available to you. Workers from these organizations will help you establish a safety plan and know your rights. Since abusers often lie to control their victim, you can't trust what they say. For example, abusers often threaten to obtain custody of the children or have the victim deported from the country, when in fact they have no power in the matter. Make a list of your questions, then consult an expert.

PROTECT YOURSELF.
If you decide to leave the abuser, make a safety plan first. Often an abuser becomes more violent if he believes the victim intends to leave him. Take precautions to make sure he doesn't find out about your plans by listening to your phone messages, reading your emails or text messages, or tracking the sites you've visited on the Internet. Your safety plan should include strategies that will keep you safe at all stages of your journey: while you're still in the relationship, as you prepare to leave, as you leave, and after. To learn more about safety planning, contact a shelter or visit: Malley prairie Lausanne